V – Well, (Figure’s name), it’s good to have you back with us today.
F – Yeah, it’s good to be back. You usually keep me in that stuffy old case for days at a time.
V – Is that why when I took you out of your case you looked troubled?
F – No, I’ve got a bigger problem than that.
V – Oh? What’s your problem?
F – Well, it’s all because of what happened last night.
V – Yes, I heard you moaning and groaning when you came in and then you stomped up to your room. I wondered if you were sick.
F – Sick? Well… in a way.
V – What do you mean, in a way?
F – Well, my stomach wasn’t aching. And my head wasn’t aching. And I didn’t have any broken bones.
V – That’s good.
F – But I know I’m gonna have an aching stomach and an aching head and some
broken bones
V – That’s bad. But how do you know that?
F – Because of what happened yesterday.
V – Oh? What happened yesterday?
F – Well, Sharky loaned me his skateboard.
V – Sharky? He’s the big tough kid, isn’t he? How nice of him to loan you his skateboard. Did you return it?
F – Not yet.
V – Why not?
F – Well, you know the nice straight fence that goes around Sharky’s yard?
V – Yes.
F – Well, it ain’t straight any more.
V – Oh oh. And Sharky’s dad was very proud of that fence. What happened?
F – I fell off the skateboard and smashed into the fence.
V – Rough. Sharky’s father is going to be mad about that.
F – I’m not worried about his father.
V – Oh?
F – I’m worried about Sharky. I broke one of the trucks on his skateboard.
V – And you’ve always been afraid of Sharky.
F – Isn’t every one? He’s got muscles where I don’t even have places.
V – (looking at figure and thinking about that one) – Hmmm. I see what you
mean.
F – So I want you to do me a favor.
V – You want me to go and talk with Sharky’s father?
F – More difficult than that.
V – You want me to go and talk with Sharky?
F – More important than that.
V – I give up. What do you want me to do?
F – I don’t think it will help to talk to Sharky’s father. Or to Sharky. You’ve got to go right over their heads.
V – You mean?
F – That’s right. You’ve got to talk with God about this.
V – You can do that yourself.
F – But I’m just a kid… and a monkey as well. (Alter to fit your character.)
V – You can still pray for yourself.
F – But you’re an adult and you’ve been a Christian for… for… centuries. Doesn’t
God keep His ears open especially for an adult’s prayers?
V – No more than anyone else’s.
F – I’d still like to have you pray instead of me.
V – Why?
F – Well, I’ve only got a little voice. God might never hear me.
V – Don’t worry about that. If God were listening to all the angels in heaven singing the most beautiful song ever sung and you began your prayer, God would say to the angels, “Hush! I can hardly hear a little monkey/kid praying down on earth. Every one keep silent so I can hear what he says.”
F – And, of course, they would shut up!
V – Yes. Because God’s will is done perfectly in heaven.
F – So it doesn’t matter how small my voice is…
V – God will hear your prayer.
F – But I might get my grammar mixed up.
V – God isn’t your English teacher. He doesn’t take off points for bad grammar.
F – But I can’t use big words.
V – God loves to hear your little words.
F – But I never understood all those “thee’s” and “thou’s”.
V – God doesn’t ask that you speak like Shakespeare or the King James Version
of the Bible. Just talk like you would talk to a friend.
F – Okay. I’ll pray to God about Sharky.
V – And, because God has said that where two or three are agreed on anything,
He’ll do it, I’ll pray for you too.
F – You will?
V – Of course. But don’t forget to pray for yourself.
By Professor Ed Smith
This article originally appeared in The Christian Conjurer, vol. 53 num. 2.
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